she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
