Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
