He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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