Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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