O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize