god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
