from now on my penis is your penis
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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