He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
