Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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