cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
