...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
