How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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