I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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