ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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