it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
