i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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