I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
