PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
