i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize