my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
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Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
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Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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