I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize