True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Please don't give away my fajitas
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
