Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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