and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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