I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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