what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
