I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Farmville is her only friend.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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