Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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