Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
