I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize