can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
