Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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