Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
