There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
In the future we'll all be gay
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
