Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
