Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
