I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
