did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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