ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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