Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
