WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
