I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Did I show you my penis last night?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
