I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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