does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
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Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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