i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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