Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
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If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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