So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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