i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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