Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
