farters have to be the big spoon...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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