Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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