So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
