dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
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Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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