I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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