How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
