Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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