How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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