I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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