There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
