New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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