Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
