This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
