I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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