I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
