How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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