My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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