Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
