oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
