I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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